Letters that I’ll never send

It’s been a long while since I’ve seen you. It’s funny, isn’t it, how we think we have forever within our fists but it escapes like sand? I still have your contact saved but the name is a stranger’s now. I don’t think I’ll ever dial this number ever (no, not even drunk dial it) but I also don’t think my thumb will ever press the delete button.

How do you delete 5 years of your life? How do you delete promises that meant to you more than your own life? And how, for heaven’s sake and maybe hell’s too, do you delete all the bitter words exchanged, the doors slammed, the tears and face stained with kajal, the chain of cigarettes smoked in the aftermath? Although I guess, you did quite a good job in doing so. But then, you were always better than me; better at writing, better at sports. God! I still stick to the fact that your kisses were so much better than mine. So why am I surprised that you are better at cutting me off your life too? I think it’s a play of the word, denial.

People forget voices the fastest. Not the face, not anything else, but the voice. I don’t remember why. I never paid much attention in Science class. Why is it then so difficult for me to forget your laughter? How you’d throw your head back and laugh. I’d rarely ever join with you because I was too busy watching a 7 year old in that 17-year old body. I also haven’t forgotten the sound of your yawn. You’d stretch your hands and yawn so deeply. Soon after, I’d hear you snoring with your mouth slightly open and your hand still over mine.

How did all of that turn to sand?

It became grains of sand- your laughter, my smile, our kisses and park dates, those 3 a.m. conversations where we bared our souls long before we bared our bodies– in a desert. However did that happen?

I lost you. You lost me. But the most terrible thing that happened was how we lost us.

I still don’t wish bad upon you. I’ll never do. And despite everything,  I know you don’t too.

The saddest irony of our lives was, despite being the perfect puzzle pieces that fit together, we didn’t fit. 

In another parallel universe, maybe- just maybe- we do.

Image source: Google Images

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P.S.: Today is one month of my blog. Yay! I’m so glad I started this blog and I’m so grateful for the kind of support I’ve gotten from this blogging community. I know people reach far more milestones by their first month but I love the pace I’m going in and i can’t wait to see what more this blogging experience holds for me. :’) 

Lots of love from one blogger to all the rest. ♥